I feel adrift…and I can’t find an anchor
We feel the physical effects of gravity. When we get out of bed, we know our feet will be pulled down to touch the floor.
Similarly, we are energetically anchored by our parents. We grow in the earth of our mother’s womb from a blueprint infused with all the experiences, thoughts, feelings, traumas, and joys supplied by seeds from both of our parents. Containing the thoughts, feelings, memories of their parents before them. And their parents before them, stretching back generations since man began.
That is the earth we grow from.
A tree that grows tall from the ground, retains its roots to survive, so physical distance from our parent(s) and time do not prevent us from feeling their departure when they pass.
Like an invisible fabric covering the family, when there is a tug at one end, it will always be felt at the other.
Whatever our age, life stage, whether they were loving and close, or had a more complex relationship with us, or none at all, when we lose a parent, it is felt deeply in every cell of our body. We can feel like we are losing essence, or a part of us is leaving. We may wish to leave with them. The everyday can feel meaningless. The world is different.
We search for our anchor, but it cannot be found.
It is a rite of passage. Losing a parent’s material presence on earth can be extraordinarily painful and indescribable. We can look for them in crowds, that familiar face knowing it can’t be them, we still search.
Doing a seemingly mundane task, emotion can rise and surge like a wave then subside. Without control.
But in time, remembering that our parents exist in our physical and energetic selves, we can find the anchor we are looking for within us.
How craniosacral therapy can help if you are grieving the loss of a loved one.
Grief is personal although there may be shared characteristics with others who grieve. There is no one way to grieve or a time limit. But the trauma of a loss of a loved one may cause you to feel disconnected from the outside world. There may be held grief or an inability to cope.
Held grief needs to be expressed. Craniosacral therapy can help you to feel more embodied and provide a space for your system to express itself in the way it needs to. Through facilitating a deep sense of relaxation and stillness the body can begin to talk.
Giving ourselves permission to feel what we feel and appreciating our own mortality and that time on earth is finite, we can start to find joy again.